A Key to Improving Your Speaking Skills

In working from home, most of us deal with people over the phone or in person on a regular basis. If you work exclusively on the internet, this may not apply to you, although I am sure you still interact with others in various aspects of your life. I have been learning about ways to improve my interactions with others, as you have noticed in my previous posts. But one area that I hadn't considered is how to improve my speaking skills.

I have definitely come a long way in my speaking ability - from my first scary experience as a graduating 8th grader giving a speech to a large crowd (over 500 people) [my knees were literally knocking together] to now, when I have no problem giving a 45 minute presentation to a large group or one-on-one . However, there is always room for improvement, and I've been trying out a new technique to help improve my skills.

The technique that I am trying and highly recommend to you is recording yourself. I heard this idea on a training call a few weeks ago, and then it was solidified in my mind while reading Jeffrey Gitomer's Little Green Book of Getting Your Way. Gitomer says, "Recording your presentation will reveal every blemish, every error, and every weakness. It will give you a report card on your effectiveness." I have to completely agree! In the few times I have been trying this out, I have been amazed - no, appalled - at how I sound! No, it's not horrible, but I never realized how many times I say "um" while leaving a voicemail. So I have begun to focus on not saying "um" or "ah" but rather getting right to the point. I plan to also record some of my presentations so that I can hear how I sound and improve upon those as well.

So if you work with people in any capacity, I highly encourage you to begin recording yourself. Perhaps you don't do presentations or long talks, but even if you leave voicemails or do a "30-second commercial", you can benefit from recording yourself to see how you sound. Then you can improve on what you are saying and how you are saying it!

Show Sincere Appreciation

What is one of the main reasons people quit a job? Lack of appreciation. It's not lack of money or benefits, it's lack of appreciation. This can also translate over into marriage, teams, churches, etc. If people do not feel appreciated and valued, they are not likely to stick around.

In Dale Carnegie's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People", he says that the "big secret of dealing with people" is to give them honest and sincere appreciation. I completely agree that this is super-important, especially in a home based business. When you pick up a phone to call someone, they have to feel that they are more important than you. If they think you are just calling about your needs, then they will either blow you off or not respond. They need to know that you appreciate them and value them.

As a leader of my organization, I realize that I have often failed in this area. As I mentioned in my last post, I often jump to being critical and thinking of what the person needs to do differently, rather than just appreciating what they are doing right. I believe that if we can give appreciation more often to our team members, they will feel more valued and be more interested in sticking with their business. Again, many people choose a home business (or a job) not just based on the financial part, but on whether they will be valued and appreciated on a regular basis.

What are some ways that you can show appreciation?

• A phone call. Simply picking up the phone to say, "I'm glad you are a part of my team" can really mean a lot to someone.
• Recognizing them in front of someone else. Perhaps on a team call or at a meeting, you can mention something special about another person. Don't just say, "I appreciate you" - say why you appreciate them or mention a reason you are proud of them. Verbal praise in front of others can go a long way!
• A thank you note or card. Send a little thank you card to let the person know you are thinking of them. Written notes through the mail are much more meaningful than emails or text messages.
• A small gift. I don't recommend going out and spending a lot of money on all of your team members. However, perhaps you know someone who has been making an extra effort despite tough circumstances, or someone who has been a great leader on your team. Even an $5.00 gift card to a local coffee shop says a lot to them.

In closing, I'd like to challenge each of us to take time to show appreciation to someone today. As Carnegie says, "In our interpersonal relations, we should never forget that all our associates are human beings and hunger for appreciation."

Don't Criticize

Currently I am reading Dale Carengie's "How to Win Friends & Influence People." I decided to blog about the things I am learning from reading this book. I hope to apply these principles not only in my business, but also in the rest of my life. I am learning more and more that people will follow people that they like, people that make them feel special. So often we are trying to find people to work with, but perhaps we should be leading by example and allowing others to find us. I believe that the first principle in this book, "Don't criticize, condemn, or complain", will help us do just that.

This principle is one of extreme importance, I believe. I know for myself, it is so easy to fall into complaining and criticizing. Especially being a perfectionist, I hold high expectations for myself AND for others. So if they do not meet my expectations, I may end up criticizing them - if not out loud to them, then at least in my head. Unfortunately, even thinking these negative thoughts will affect the way that I interact with them work with them.

There are a few quotes from this chapter that really stuck out to me. I think Carnegie says it perfectly here: "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving." (p. 13) The key here is to recognize that nothing is accomplished by criticizing. It just makes people feel bad, and it rarely promotes any kind of change. This is the solution Carnegie offers: "Instead of condemning people, let's try to understand them. Let's try to figure out why they do what they do. That's a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness."

So as we interact with others in our business life and our personal life, let's keep in mind that criticizing, condemning, or complaining will not help but only harm. Instead, let us seek to love, lift, and serve others.

My Story

What is Wellness?

I've been thinking a lot lately about wellness. This is probably since I promote products that are wellness related, so this topic is often discussed on my team and in trainings. But I haven't really thought about it, and whether I am pursuing it, lately.

I believe wellness can mean different things to different people. To me, wellness means that I have a healthy balance in my life. It means not just physical health, but also emotional health, having a clean & safe environment, being financially sound, as well as having spiritual health. I believe that often we focus on just one area of wellness instead of looking at the whole picture. And lately, I have come to realize even more just how interconnected these areas of wellness are.

After giving birth to my first daughter, I found myself very physically exhausted. Add to that the sleep deprivation after giving birth, and I struggled just to get through the days. Now, four months later, I am feeling much better physically, but still deal with being tired quite a bit. That, of course, affects my emotional health. I notice that when I am tired, I end up being more impatient and frustrated about little things. And I often neglect my spiritual health when I am tired, because I am just trying to get through the day. If I am not feeling emotionally or spiritually healthy, then it's easy to put off doing business, which in turn affects my financial wellness. I could go on and on, but I think you get the point. These areas of wellness are all related to one another, and you must be sure address all areas if you want to be healthy and successful.

So as I have been thinking about these things, I have also resolved to be sure and take care of myself. If it means taking a nap so that I'm not dragging through the day, then I will do it. If it means having my quiet time instead of doing something "fun', I will do it. If it means cleaning my home so that we have a peaceful & clean environment to live in, I will do it. If it means picking up the phone and making phone calls when I'd rather just watch TV, I will do it. I will continue to pursue these areas of wellness for the sake of my daughter and family!