Don't Criticize

Currently I am reading Dale Carengie's "How to Win Friends & Influence People." I decided to blog about the things I am learning from reading this book. I hope to apply these principles not only in my business, but also in the rest of my life. I am learning more and more that people will follow people that they like, people that make them feel special. So often we are trying to find people to work with, but perhaps we should be leading by example and allowing others to find us. I believe that the first principle in this book, "Don't criticize, condemn, or complain", will help us do just that.

This principle is one of extreme importance, I believe. I know for myself, it is so easy to fall into complaining and criticizing. Especially being a perfectionist, I hold high expectations for myself AND for others. So if they do not meet my expectations, I may end up criticizing them - if not out loud to them, then at least in my head. Unfortunately, even thinking these negative thoughts will affect the way that I interact with them work with them.

There are a few quotes from this chapter that really stuck out to me. I think Carnegie says it perfectly here: "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving." (p. 13) The key here is to recognize that nothing is accomplished by criticizing. It just makes people feel bad, and it rarely promotes any kind of change. This is the solution Carnegie offers: "Instead of condemning people, let's try to understand them. Let's try to figure out why they do what they do. That's a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness."

So as we interact with others in our business life and our personal life, let's keep in mind that criticizing, condemning, or complaining will not help but only harm. Instead, let us seek to love, lift, and serve others.