Don't Criticize

Currently I am reading Dale Carengie's "How to Win Friends & Influence People." I decided to blog about the things I am learning from reading this book. I hope to apply these principles not only in my business, but also in the rest of my life. I am learning more and more that people will follow people that they like, people that make them feel special. So often we are trying to find people to work with, but perhaps we should be leading by example and allowing others to find us. I believe that the first principle in this book, "Don't criticize, condemn, or complain", will help us do just that.

This principle is one of extreme importance, I believe. I know for myself, it is so easy to fall into complaining and criticizing. Especially being a perfectionist, I hold high expectations for myself AND for others. So if they do not meet my expectations, I may end up criticizing them - if not out loud to them, then at least in my head. Unfortunately, even thinking these negative thoughts will affect the way that I interact with them work with them.

There are a few quotes from this chapter that really stuck out to me. I think Carnegie says it perfectly here: "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving." (p. 13) The key here is to recognize that nothing is accomplished by criticizing. It just makes people feel bad, and it rarely promotes any kind of change. This is the solution Carnegie offers: "Instead of condemning people, let's try to understand them. Let's try to figure out why they do what they do. That's a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness."

So as we interact with others in our business life and our personal life, let's keep in mind that criticizing, condemning, or complaining will not help but only harm. Instead, let us seek to love, lift, and serve others.

My Story

What is Wellness?

I've been thinking a lot lately about wellness. This is probably since I promote products that are wellness related, so this topic is often discussed on my team and in trainings. But I haven't really thought about it, and whether I am pursuing it, lately.

I believe wellness can mean different things to different people. To me, wellness means that I have a healthy balance in my life. It means not just physical health, but also emotional health, having a clean & safe environment, being financially sound, as well as having spiritual health. I believe that often we focus on just one area of wellness instead of looking at the whole picture. And lately, I have come to realize even more just how interconnected these areas of wellness are.

After giving birth to my first daughter, I found myself very physically exhausted. Add to that the sleep deprivation after giving birth, and I struggled just to get through the days. Now, four months later, I am feeling much better physically, but still deal with being tired quite a bit. That, of course, affects my emotional health. I notice that when I am tired, I end up being more impatient and frustrated about little things. And I often neglect my spiritual health when I am tired, because I am just trying to get through the day. If I am not feeling emotionally or spiritually healthy, then it's easy to put off doing business, which in turn affects my financial wellness. I could go on and on, but I think you get the point. These areas of wellness are all related to one another, and you must be sure address all areas if you want to be healthy and successful.

So as I have been thinking about these things, I have also resolved to be sure and take care of myself. If it means taking a nap so that I'm not dragging through the day, then I will do it. If it means having my quiet time instead of doing something "fun', I will do it. If it means cleaning my home so that we have a peaceful & clean environment to live in, I will do it. If it means picking up the phone and making phone calls when I'd rather just watch TV, I will do it. I will continue to pursue these areas of wellness for the sake of my daughter and family!

Working with a Mentor

To be successful while working from home, it is helpful to work with a mentor (or two). Mentors can guide you, teach you, and challenge you. A mentor is not a boss - they don't tell you what to do. Instead, they help you determine what you need to do and how to get it done. And they gently confront you when you haven't followed through on your goals.

So where do you find a mentor to work with? Often it's someone within your business already - someone who has more experience or knowledge about your particular industry. Or it might be someone you've known in the past - a professor or colleague. Jeffrey Gitomer, in his Little Red Book of Sales Answers, suggests that you make a list of potential mentors, and find a way to build a relationship with them. Obviously, when choosing a mentor, you want to choose someone who is more successful than you are! That way, you can learn from their success. Jeffrey also suggests that you don't ask someone to be your mentor - they just become a mentor over time.

This is what has happened with me: One of my mentors is someone I have known since high school. She was my cheerleading coach, and I learned to respect her then. She pushed us to work hard - not just in cheering, but in academics, in relationships, in life in general. We lost touch when I went to college, but once I was back home & married, I ended up at her home for a scrapbooking party. Long story short, I began to build a business as part of her team with that company. She taught me so much along the way, but never pushed me more than I wanted to be pushed. Now, we work together in a different business, and I continue to learn from her to this day. I never asked her to become my mentor - it just sort of happened, and I am so thankful for her and all that I have learned. Now I've also found other mentors along the way, and have been inspired and challenged by them as well.

So, have you found a mentor? Have you been looking? For more tips on working with a mentor, visit www.gitomer.com, register, and then enter "Mentor Value" in the RedBit box.

Don't Let Others Steal Your Dreams

There are many obstacles to succeeding in a home business: time management, balancing family & business, developing skills, handling rejection, etc. But one obstacle - dream stealers - is a subtle, sneaky obstacle that you must be prepared for. Dream stealers are people or circumstances that make you believe that you can't succeed. Usually this is not purposeful - it might just be a slight comment, like "Oh, you're in one of those businesses." Often times it comes from the people you love the most - family & friends. They may be concerned for you and don't want you to get hurt, but in the process they slowly chip away at your confidence in your ability to succeed. Or sometimes it might be a circumstance, like your family getting sick or your baby screaming all evening. So how do you protect yourself against these dream stealers - these things that make you believe it isn't possible to succeed?

• First, I believe you have to know that the business you are in is the right business for you & has a real potential for success. You need to know that the business has a track record of success and that average people like you are earning the income you desire. Be sure that this is not just hype - make sure that you can see the average earnings & proof of income. Also, you should know how much time you need to invest in order to see the income you want.
• Second, you should team up with your support team and be sure to ask them for help. It's important that you go to positive people for guidance in your business. Don't go to the people who are negative or don't believe in you or the business.
• Thirdly, you must invest in yourself. You must know that you can succeed and believe in yourself. If you feel you are at a deficit in certain areas of your business, be sure to find ways to improve. Reading books, finding resources online, taking a course at a local college can all improve your areas of weakness. If YOU believe that you can succeed, no one can take that away from you!!!

Finally, keep in mind that sharing your dreams with others is very special. Be sure to share your dreams only with those who you feel will support you. When you do this, you can let them know that you haven't shared this with many people, and it will also make the other person feel imporant. And always remember, if you happen to encounter a dream stealer, keep yourself protected and don't let them steal YOUR DREAMS!

Making the Decision or Making Excuses?

What is the difference between those people on my team who are successful and those who are not? The difference is that the ones who are successful have made a decision to work their business NO MATTER WHAT. They have a "no excuses" attitude and it pays off. Sure, they have challenges and set backs just like everyone else. But they do not let that stop them from pursuing their dreams and goals. However, the others are so wishy-washy that they never can get past the "getting started" phase. I often hear, "I am going to do this" or "This is going to be my goal" - but then I don't hear from that person for 3 or 4 weeks. And then we have the same conversation, and they say the same things. Once again, it's not followed by action. The next time I talk to them, the conversation is full of excuses about why they haven't done what we talked about previously.

You see, when someone makes a decision, they act on it - day in and day out. Some of these folks are so busy but yet they still take the time to make a few phone calls, follow up with customers, or make a few new contacts every day. The ones who have not made a decision do the opposite... they make excuses. And you want to know what the other difference is between these people? The ones who make the decision also make the money!

What's Important to Buyers in a Recession?

Since we are in a recession currently, it's essential to learn what is important to buyers during this time. Many people think that price is the only thing that concerns buyers, but that is not necessarily true. I believe that the most important thing to buyers during tough economic times is VALUE. Why Value? Because people want the best product for their dollar. When you are pinching pennies, don't you want to get the most bang for your buck? So what constitutes value?

• A product that works and is reasonably priced. If a product is cheap but doesn't work, then it's basically a waste of money. But, if a product works really well and isn't overpriced, then it has VALUE.
• A product that has scientific proof that it is effective. In this day and age of juices, vitamins, pills, and lotions that are supposed to heal and solve health problems, etc, it is hard to weed through all the claims and find the legitimate ones. That's where the science comes in. Customers want to know WHY & HOW something works - not just some testimonial about it. The science behind the product gives it VALUE.
• A company that offers good customer service & guarantees. While I know that I can go to Wal-Mart and get a similar product that is offered at LLBean, I often go to LLBean because I know about their great customer service and their guarantee. Sure you might pay less up front at Wal-Mart, but if there's a problem with the product breaking down 5 years from now, you're more likely to get great service from LLBean. People VALUE being treated well and knowing that they can get their money back if they are unsatisfied.
• Loyatly rewards. Customers have a choice where to shop - if they shop with you on a regular basis, reward them! They will probably shop with you for the above mentioned reasons, not because of the rewards. But the rewards will be an added bonus and will remind them of the VALUE of shopping with you. And if you have customers coming back to you over & over, you're in business.

When you are working from home, it's even more important to offer value to your customers. And if you are considering starting a business, keep this in mind. Ask yourself if the company has products that work and are reasonably priced? Does the company offer scientific proof to back up their claims? What about guarantees & customer service? Finally, are there loyalty rewards that either you or the company will offer? Be sure to offer VALUE to your customers, especially in these difficult economic times.